How to Create A Safe Space

Feeling safe is something we take for granted and it can often be misunderstood. Safety isn't always physical. You can be physically safe and still feel fear. Safety can be emotional or mental. If your early life was unstable or unsafe, we can carry that insecurity with us for years if we don't acknowledge it.


Here are some measures you can take to not only feel safe in your space, but also to begin to work through these feelings.


Physical

Textures

Touch can be so therapeutic. Get comfortable and cozy, hold a pillow, wrap yourself in something fuzzy or soft. We can self-soothe.


Feng Shui

Your physical space must be peaceful. Be it a re-organization of the furniture in the room to a simple dimming of the lights. You may need to tidy up or put out a few pieces that spark joy. Give yourself a calming setting.


Close the Doors

As literal as it gets: close the door. Maybe even lock the door. Designate your own space so you can trust that you are secure.


Emotional

Pets + People

If you are creating a safe space with someone else, don't forget to communicate your needs for feeling safe and listen to the needs of your friend/loved one. This builds trust and security. If this person is a lover, don't forget how soothing cuddles can be.


If your loved one is a pet, all the better. Pets are healers. Snuggling with your cat or your pup can alleviate anxiety and the fuzzy warmth of their body alone takes us straight back to texture-therapy.


Me-Time

Knowing if you're an introvert or an extrovert can really help you feel taken care of. If you're an extrovert, you may want a pet or a loved one around to help you feel safe. If you're an introvert (like me), you may need to allocate time to recharge on your own. Listen to your own needs, whatever those are.


Music + Nature Sounds

The soundtrack of the environment is similar to the Feng Shui - it helps settle you into the serenity of the present moment. Put on music that makes you feel good. Another option is to play relaxed or soft soundscapes of nature. If your environment is peaceful enough, open a window and let the natural sounds in.


Mental

Phone Notifications

Turn your pop-up notifications off. In general. Unless you're waiting for something urgent (and I mean real urgent), there is no need to be at the mercy of everyone else's needs or a slave to your technology. I get calls, but I only get a buzz for texts - no lock-screen banner pop-ups. When I unlock my phone, the homescreen still displays the red icon with the amount of texts or emails and so on, but that's it.

Doing this has put me back in control and it has been pivotal in me feeling safe and relaxed. When do I want to check in? Learn how to do it here.


Affirmation: I Am Safe

I like to use positive affirmations for everything I feel I am not. If safety is something you've mentally struggled with, write out the words, "I am safe," and make sure you see them often. Say them again and again out loud or in your head. Make this phrase your mantra. After dedicated practice with this affirmation, you will begin to believe yourself.


Meditation

Meditation is a safe-space. It's the time to let go of the external and come into the internal. It can be a guided imagery meditation, a mantra meditation, simple mindfulness or whatever feels best to you. Just find some time to go within, and relax.

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©2020 by Kama Hagar.