I love love. Like, love love. I have been the biggest romantic since I was practically an infant - fawning over princes and love stories and always creating my own happily-ever-after situations in my Barbie Dream House.
From about fifth grade on, I merrily stepped into the romantic relationship-advisor position for all of my friends. Match-making, manifesting, connecting, correlating, relaying and organizing relationship intricacies brought my little heart more joy than was even conducive to my time. I even recreationally marriage-counseled my parents.
It wasn't all roses for me, though. I certainly had to kiss a few frogs (some of which shattered that same little heart). So why am I qualified to show you how to manifest love? Because four years ago when my handsome Nick asked me out at a pool party, I looked down at the dream-boy list I had made six-months prior and realized he checked every single box.
Even better: every last person I have prescribed this manifestation formula to has also met their twin flame.
Here's how you do it:
Step 1. Forgive
Newton's third law states that "for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction."
What does physics have to do with forgiveness? To move forward, we don't just leave something behind, we actually have to push something back. I don't mean suppress, either.
If we just "let go" without the active kick-off, we wouldn't go anywhere.
The metaphor is that if the "letting go" part is the breakup, there must be an action to create forward momentum.
To actively make the past, the past, we must forgive. Forgive yourself, your ex(es), the past.
P.S. there's no pretending for the universe. It knows if you've truly forgiven. So let's get to work. Here's my free Meditation for Forgiveness (Ho'oponopono). Do it as many times as you need.
Step 2. Reflect
Recall your past relationships. What went right? What went wrong? What mistakes can you own? What mistakes can he/she own? What was your biggest lesson? Be humble. Learn. Return back to step one if you got hard on yourself or the other person again.
Step 3. Heal
Like forgiveness, healing is an action. You have to actively work to heal. Time helps like 10%. Would you simply "let time heal" a deep physical wound? Would you just leave it open without disinfecting it, bandaging it, or stitching it? You could. It would heal, but it might be a little unsavory and it's definitely going to leave a way gnarlier scar. You catch my drift?
Meditate, listen to your own needs, journal, walk, exercise, eat healthy, see a therapist, join a support group, ask for help from a friend, read, get some crystals, do a retreat, try a breathwork class, say to yourself, "I am healing," everyday. Do something. Be patient.
Step 4. Do the Self-Work
Love yourself, accept yourself, work on your self-worth, highlight your strengths, strengthen your struggle-points.
Remember step two when you reflected? Where can you do better? Where did you kill the game? Work this material.
Also, BELIEVE YOU ARE WORTHY. You are. Your bullsh*t story about how you're too fat, too boring, too poor, too old or too broken ends now.
Again: meditate, listen to your own needs, journal, walk, exercise, eat healthy, see a therapist, join a support group, ask for help from a friend, read, get some crystals, do a retreat, try a breathwork class, and/or use affirmations. The whole while, accept your process. Again, be patient.
Here's my free meditation for self-love.
Step 5. Make Two Lists
List 1: Non-Physical Qualities I Want in a Partner
Example: adventurous, funny, considerate, loyal, driven, etc...
- Tip: take only the positive qualities of your exes or past-flings and write the qualities you felt they were missing. Don't hold back.
List 2: The Person I Want to Be in a Relationship
Example: caring, devoted, loyal, supportive, positive etc.
- Tip: your self-work should help with this introspection and clarity. Also, never write: "Not ____." If there's something you don't want to be, write its opposite (ie: not stubborn vs. flexible.)
Don't forget to date the lists so you can reflect on the time it took to manifest it all. Try to let go of expectations - instead, embody the feeling of having this dream-partner and being that dream-partner.
Step 6. Meditate to Activate
Visualize this person, feel this person (literally tap into all five of your senses: taste, touch, smell, sound, sight), feel into the emotions you'd feel with this person and use affirmations around love and partnership (ie: I am loved, I am in a loving, committed relationship, I am in love with the partner of dreams, etc.). Use all these hacks in your meditation and watch it all happen.
Watch my free Meditation for Manifestation here.
I am sending you INFINITE love. You are worthy. You are loved.