It's really registering to me that where you put your thoughts, energy and habits is where you put your LIFE, dawg. I was spending a lot of time for a lot of months putting my thoughts and energy in whack-ass places, let me tell ya: comparison, trying to make finite decisions where there can't be finite decisions, focusing on the bad/the stressful, the insecure.
I've been thinking a lot about what I could've told myself then to help me get to where I am now sooner and it's hard. I think the only thing that comes to mind is: be EXTREMELY strict about not indulging in what hurts you - it will feel impossible to break these habits at first, but they will pay off 100-fold once you let them go. Also, nothing you do has to be forever, just try sh*t.
Here's what's workin' for me this week:
1. Small talk with strangers.
I love people and I love hearing their stories, but I'm an introvert by default, don't forget it. I also am guilty of getting caught up in the hustle and bustle of life and my own world. But I've been trying to slow down and connect and whenever I do, I feel so much better. Almost electrified. Studies have shown that people benefit from brief and low-cost interactions with strangers in terms of their subjective well-being. From your barista at a coffee shop to your bus driver to your nail tech, chatting lightly or even just expressing gratitude or greetings has been shown to make us happier and healthier.
2. Awe.
Awe is truly one of the best feelings in the world. Lately I've been letting myself trip out on the concept of being alive. Of breathing. Of sunshine. Of my luck. Of eating a delicious croissant in my car. There is so much to be like, "wow, holy f*ck" about if you let yourself.
3. Working outside from the lounge chair.
You know I don't like saying anything is "the way," but brother, this is the way.
4. "Do Whatever" lip liner by GXVE.
Anytime I've ever looked good I've been wearing this lip liner.
5. Being myself in all circumstances, including professional ones.
What the heck else!?! I'm finally doing it! I'm finally realizing there's no one else to be! In all my dramatic, chaotic, dark-humored glory! It's okay! People still kinda like me!
6. Trying to only talk about the good or joyful.
I understand we need to vent from time to time, but seriously, people vent ALL the time. Most people start off with a vent: all that went wrong, all that's going wrong, all that could go wrong. I've done it too. But I've been practicing/testing myself to share the good, the funny, the fun, the beautiful, the interesting, the entertaining, the awe-inducing, the sentimental. As my teacher Ke'oni asks again and again: "what is most interesting to you?" Where you put your attention, your conversation, your energy - that's the answer; And where attention goes, energy flows.
7. Embracing where I came from.
If you missed my post last week, this is what I mean.
As someone who is primarily plant-based (who's trying to build a muscular booty atm), I love having a good protein powder on hand. But I also don't want to be eating processed foods (which protein powders certainly can be). I love this one. It's yum, it has 20g per scoop, and only five whole, pure ingredients: pea protein, pumpkin seeds, chia seeds and vanilla powder. This is not sponsored, it just rocks.
9. Watching movies sometimes.
This is not integrated. I'm feeling weird even writing this. But something I realize makes me a lot to work with is that I can barely stand watching movies. I feel like it's such a time commitment and suck when there is hula hooping and chatting and eating and exploring and meditating and everything else. But after a week of sitting and staring at Sean while he was sick and immobile, I finally said, "let's just... watch a movie." And you know what... it was kinda nice.
