How to Handle the Bargaining Phase of Grief

bargaining grief Mar 08, 2023

Grief is a heavy emotion. It's one we often resist. We grieve when there is a death of some kind - be it emotional, mental, physical or spiritual - making grief one of the most powerful emotional elixirs we can experience. Emotional elixir. You know emotions are healing potions right? You know that they're meant to be felt and learned from, right? I know it sounds scary, but letting them move through you is how you heal. 

If you're grieving right now, be empowered in your grief. Grieve however you want and need. This is your healing salve. The way we bleed to form a scab to start the healing. We need it. It's here for you. It doesn't fit in a box - it just invites you to experience it when and as it comes. Allow that process to be whatever it is.

I'm so glad you showed up to this blog today. You're giving yourself and your grief such a gift by allowing it to be seen, to be felt and to receive. I am so honored to be here for you - I know so many people feel the same way.

According to, there are five stages of grief and they come and go in cycles. Yep, this emotion isn't a one-off class, it's college. It's giving a lot of lessons over a while of time. The more you resist, the longer you draw this out. The stages you'll experience over and over again are: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.

Smack dab in the middle of the process is "bargaining." This is the part where you ruminate on the future or the past, overthink and worry, compare yourself, judge yourself and say/think things like "I should have..." or "If only..." It's no wonder that this part of the cycle moves right into the depression phase - it's pretty ruthless. Just because it's inevitable and doesn't mean you'll let it get the best of you. All tools need to be on deck for this. I got you.

How to Handle the Bargaining Phase of Grief
  1. Breathe (the lungs are associated with grief so let the breath soothe and interrupt the spiral).
  2. Ask the part of you desiring control (as the bargaining piece does) what it needs: What do you need? Be friendly, be loving, be accommodating.
  3. Outsource the words of affirmation and reassurance. We can only give ourselves so much during these times - ask your loved ones for a hand or specific words of comfort.
  4. Make a list of all the things you did so you can find peace in your heart and the knowing that you gave so much.

I'm so sorry for your loss, my friend. There is magic present and on the other side, but we first have to grieve what is different and what is changed.

Need more love? Book a 1:1 with me or get a custom grief meditation. I'm here for you.




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